i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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