I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i dont even know how to be here
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
