i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
