is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
