Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
