just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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