Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
