I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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