She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
