What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
