The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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