I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Couch. On fire.
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