You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize