Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
