Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize