Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
