so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
