i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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