My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
