no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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