this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
