I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
In America we eat man semen.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
