i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
