you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
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You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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