I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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