you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
