I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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