perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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