Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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