yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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