well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
