Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
