well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
