Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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