He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
