You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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