Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
