I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
