so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
