woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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