Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
