ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
