In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
