Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
