ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
