If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
