Well douche your snatch and let's go!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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