Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
