this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
