their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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