there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
