planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
