Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
