hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
