just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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