# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
