I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
one might say we're banned from that church
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
