Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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