I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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