Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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