I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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