got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
