actually, I'm a sock model
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Shame - the story of my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
