Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We left the knife in your bed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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